Quick blurb about my thoughts on why the fuck we’re calling them smart phones because I literally dropped my phone in the school parking lot today fuck my fucking life.
First day of school vibes still running strong on the second day, I popped in my new wireless earbuds (spoiler alert- I was hesitant to buy wireless because I will misplace my phone when I’m listening to music due to my nature of putting the smart phone down in random places because I only need it when it’s time to check something or change the tune, which reminds me, can we please stop calling them smart phones and just call them the portable computers that they are? they’re miniature tablets that have an app that allows you to make phone calls like the old devices we used to make phone calls with– the cellular phone- dubbed so because of the cell battery used to power the phone-calling capabilities it fucking was). if these are smart phones, what the fuck are we calling the users?
I digress.
I just parked my dumbass car in the last open parking spot in the entire lot, I am convinced, but I was running ahead of schedule and gave myself some leeway in time just for this exact reason, shoutout PLAN AHEA, and the one time I’m not in a rush to class because I planned ahead, I drop my mini tablet out of the un-zipped front pocket that is un-zipped only because I have procrastinated to fix zipper that went off-track for oh, well over a year now, but the portable computer hit the ground with a negative sound, due to the fact that I was blaring The Black Album (shoutout HOV) in both of my ears in the cutting-edgefool-prooftechnology that is my new wireless earbuds.
If anyone finds my phone and notices the THEE KIDS TABLE stickers on the back and makes their way to this post, please feel free to send me an email at theekidstable@gmail.com. I’ll surely take care of you. The pictures and videos on that thing are worth trillions… of words.
Photo taken with the courtesy of Anthony Travieso at 9Line Tattoo, Riverview, FL.
Immediate afterthought edit: Right after I checked the school lost and found to see if anyone turned it in, by they way, I’m 99.9% sure I saw someone pick up the phone and b-line back towards the school, and shortly after that my headphones cut out and lost signal. It was devastating. The positive note is, the girl was kind of cute, and right after I check the lost and found I found a brand new Trojan Magnum under the chair I stopped to sit in. Okay, I stopped to sit in the chair because I saw the gold foil under the chair and I needed a condom just in case.
Jeff Daniels is normally a funny man but he’s not laughing in this video. Sometimes the joke just ain’t funny anymore, America… Earth… Milky Way Galaxy… Universe. Whoever is listening.
Doug Stanhope is still alive. He doesn’t have his own Nike shoes, but I think he’s a better person for that.
I went half of Sunday before I realized I might be the only person in Tampa who didn’t set their fucking clock back an hour. I’m so lost. Here’s more Doug Stanhope for now… I’ll write something else worth sharing eventually.
Shout out to Chris Joseph at FinsNation of yesteryears. I noticed last week that the football team down in Miami hadn’t won a game yet. I can’t even imagine I’m still alive if I still followed professional football. Such a depressing environment. Most of you fanatics have never even made a tackle in a backyard game. Why are you so fucking hoorah rah rah about drinking beer and yelling at athletic millionaires? Why was I? I was fucking retarded, that’s why I did it. What’s your excuse?
Some brilliant satirical comedy from Norm MacDonald and Kurt Vonnegut, followed by me blowing off some steam about this chick I used to know.
“You think the ancient Romans were smart? Look at how dumb their numbers were. One theory of why they declined and fell is that their plumbing was lead. The root of our word plumbing is plumbum, the Latin word for “lead”. Lead poisoning makes people stupid and lazy. What’s your excuse?”
-Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
Michiganders please shush up, don’t rain on my parade here.
Last week, I was logged onto a social media platform and was reading a post made by this really cute and fun chick I dated once or twice, and really did like spending time with, was asking her fellow social media performance artists for advice and/or money gifting so that her and her boyfriend could travel the world for free.
I had really good advice for her but I bit my tongue. Or whatever it is you bite when you refrain from popping off at the finger-tips with a sarcastic comment from a thousand miles away. I was traveling at the time when I held my tongue or whatever. Traveling on Uncle Sam’s dime. What they don’t tell us kids, though, is that our great Uncle Sam is a rapist. “You gotta pay the troll toll if ya wanna travel for free, ya lil bitch.” That’s what I wanted to say. It’s just more appropriate if I say it here. Safe bet.
I got arrested for possession of marijuana on Wednesday. I’d been minding my fuckin business and taking it easy, but life is life, so here’s Doug Stanhope.
HCC PoliSci class wanted a ONE-page response to the movie Vice. This is all I could fit on the page to say. EDITEDDDDDDDDDD FU
I was just a teenager in 8th grade when I watched President George W. Bush address the nation as ‘under attack’ from the comfort of the orderly Oval Office desk in 2001. I did not know what kind of chaos was being brewed behind the scenes… being from a small town in upstate New York; and with the helpful influence of my father, a Marine Corps fire, crash, and rescueman (veteran), I later-deferred from going to school with most of my friends to instead follow in my father’s footsteps– I joined the US Air Force. There is little doubt the pro-war propaganda influenced the decision-making for myself and many like me, but I would argue that the anti-war rhetoric did not exist in cinema like it does today given the inevitable greater access to more and more accurate information available almost 2 full decades later. My main reaction from watching Adam McKay’s motion picture Vice is that: there is a good chance I would have never enlisted into the military in the first place, let alone re-enlist for a second 4-year term, had this film come out before I went to see the recruiter after turning 18 in 2006.
What bothers me the most about the film is not so much in the political issues of the film or having to rewatch history and rethink back to the trauma involved with the plane hijackings and terror that took place on that day. What really bothers me is not what took place some 17-18 years after the fact, on a Hollywood set, portrayed in a movie on a big-screen: it’s what’s going on in real life- like comments (or the lack thereof) from those portrayed in the film as hypocritical weaklings. Just 2 weeks after Vice was released to the public, Senator Liz Cheney says this of Christian Bale’s performance with a smirk and a grin on her straight face: “Christian Bale finally had the chance to play a real superhero and he clearly screwed it up.” I know I don’t stand angrily alone given the fact that Dick Cheney has remained silent since the film was released to the public. That makes me sick; surely he has something on his mind worth sharing?
I wrote a paper on the prohibition of marijuana and I would love for all of you to read it and share it so we can finally nip this bud right in the buds.
Just a quick post. Here’s a short paper I wrote for my polisci class at Hillsborough Community College. I hope you fucking love it and I hope you learn something.
As I argued in my initial reaction to the documentary film The Culture High (2014), the production seemingly purposely overlooked the initial prohibition of marijuana. Twenty-seven minutes into the film, the narrator asks the following questions (with my paraphrasing in parenthesis):
“If marijuana prohibition isn’t achieving the goals we think it should (i.e. if over 82 years, prohibition efforts have been a lost cause), what has caused it to be pursued the way it has? (i.e. why are most drug convicts minorities?) What are the elements that keep it propped up? (i.e. how could this possibly have lasted for 82 years based on what it’s actually based on?) And where did it all start?”
The Culture High, documentary, Amazon Prime Video
… and then, instead of pointing along with “most fingers”, “to the year 1937 when marijuana was first outlawed by a tax stamp required for hemp”… instead of actually providing information on the processes that occurred when it actually was outlawed, the narrator says “let’s fast forward 34 years to 1971”… when President Nixon is famously quoted saying “Drug Abuse” being America’s newly designated number one enemy to the immediate public. Drug Abuse is not marijuana, and this is where the film absolutely went off track– with over an hour and a half remaining.
The Culture High, documentary, Amazon Prime
With all that being said, for my outside references, I decided to use encyclopedias from the HCC Ybor Campus library to gather the facts I’d need to show what the film production omitted factually as I claimed above. Those unfamiliar with who Harry Jacob Anslinger was are missing key information to our nation’s history given arguably anyone alive in the world today knows someone who has somehow been affected negatively by the bogus marijuana laws that are in place in America today.
My first source was the Alcohol and Drugs in North America: A Historical Encyclopedia Vol 1 which is a $95 textbook on the market. In this encyclopedia, Harry Anslinger is quoted as “the individual most responsible for the War on Drugs mindset” (page 55), and is “most famous for his central role in the criminalization of marijuana.” He actually, coincidentally started working for the United Nations in 1970, just one year before Nixon is quoted in the film talking about that oh-so-dangerous drug abuse (according to drugpolicy.org, there were only 72,000 accidental drug overdoses in the year 2017, but we also know, according to the film, that cigarettes cause the death of over 5,500,000 accidental deaths every year, and we also know from the film that part of the reason for marijuana being outlawed was because it’s dangerous, but the facts do not back the claims whatsoever).
My second source was the Encyclopedia of Drugs, Alcohol, & Addictive Behavior 3rd Ed which costs over $400 new on the market for the set– that’s some important information if it’s that expensive, right!? This source also backs the claim that Anslinger became the Chief US delegate to international drug agencies of the United Nations in the year 1970, where it also notes “much of his legacy remains current”. It’s mentioned that Anslinger was in the Narcotics Division of the Prohibition Unit from 1920-1930 when another infamous drug was prohibited, and we’re all allowed to know by now how that all worked out (talking about alcohol). Aside from the many quotes of Anslinger using racial slurs towards black and hispanic peoples, which easily translates over to the film where it mentions the difference in convictions between classes and races of people, aside from all of that, there are such written works titled the “Anslinger Papers” which prove he was aware of marijuana not being dangerous. And if the film wasn’t purposely misleading its audience over “when it all began” when the narrator could have taken it “to the year 1937 when marijuana was first outlawed by a tax stamp required for hemp” but didn’t take it there… did he maybe not take it there because the name of that tax was the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 and not the Hemp one?
Without discussing alcohol and tobacco deaths, without discussing the number of deaths associated with cancers and chronic illnesses proven to stem from poor diets, and without discussing actual war where the premise is to kill others with weapons over different beliefs, I think we can say that there are plenty of things we could much be better doing with our time than arresting people for carrying a plant on them that we know from several different research studies has never caused anyone to die, so I will leave off with this fact about policing the possession of marijuana in New York City (the italics are mine):
“…In those eleven years [2002-2012] the NYPD made a total of 439,056 possession-only arrests. Multiplied by 2.5 hours police time per arrest that equals 1,097,640 hours- or approximately 1,000,000 hours of police officer time to make 440,000 arrests. That is the equivalent of having 31 police officers working 8 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 11 years, making only marijuana possession arrests.”
I think it’s time our people get the facts they deserve, for this is not a joking matter as many of Anslinger’s ‘gang’ seemed to think. It’s not doing us any good to keep hiding the truth.
By: Nicholas Muller – PoliSci Documentary Response Paper – HCCFL
Special Thank You to my dear brother Tyler Dolbin. Much love, homie G.
I was reading a book outside while sitting in the sun and then I came across wisdom and I figured hey what the fuck I may as well share it, ja feel?
For future reference, if any of you are interested in what books I’ve read or are currently reading, I update my goodreads account fairly regularly. It’s like Facebook, except there are hardly any retarded people to ruin your feed… there’s always that one person though, statistically speaking of course…
An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States, beautifully written by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz
Here is the quote:
“The United States Magazine and Democratic Review summed it up by arguing that whereas European powers “conquer only to enslave,” America, being “a free nation,” “conquers only to bestow freedom.” . . . Far from antagonistic, “empire” and “liberty” are instrumentally conjoined. If the former stands to safeguard the latter, the latter, in turn, serves to justify the former. Indeed, the conjunction of the two, of freedom and dominion, gives America its sovereign place — its Manifest Destiny, as its advocates so aptly called it.” -Wai-chee Dimock, Historian, with regards to American media distorting public view/opinion during the 18th and 19th century, with regards to American internal affairs
The old nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” must only apply to children. There are too many sets of pointless standards and morals we are taught as I know I’m not alone when I read the irony and hypocrisy in Twain from works well-over 100 years from his passing*. If words aren’t dangerous, then what’s censorship exist for? Dangerous, how?
Why, I thought you’d never ask. Oh, you didn’t ask that? Well I’ll fuckin tell ya anyhow.
Fuck shit ass cunt bitch nigger gay faggot gook cracker anus dick pussy queer hoe are all examples of words you should never say around women or children. They’re okay to say among men. I have been told that I need to watch my language… okay, I’m just asking… or else, what?
I’m a 31 year old man sitting in my rented bedroom on a desktop PC with a bootlegged operating system. The shirt and socks I’m wearing have faded and have tiny holes. I read as much as I can and when I’m not writing about anything I’m probably thinking about what I should be reading or writing.
I’m not out to hurt anyone, I’m just here for the dialogue. Or is it only cool when it’s on TV and dickfucks like the Kardashians prance around and tear this society apart by its psychological seam because people statistically mostly not like yourselves make it happen. I say not like yourselves because if you’re reading this far you’re my caliber of people and I love you and thank you.
I keep to myself but I think and I read others and learn… what’s so dangerous about some fucking letters strung together that sound awesome together: e.g. F-U-C-K FUCK FUCK FUCK!?!?
