“I know that life is a bitch, I thought we’d put her in a cab by now.” -MM

Doug Stanhope is still alive. He doesn’t have his own Nike shoes, but I think he’s a better person for that.

I went half of Sunday before I realized I might be the only person in Tampa who didn’t set their fucking clock back an hour. I’m so lost. Here’s more Doug Stanhope for now… I’ll write something else worth sharing eventually.

Shout out to Chris Joseph at FinsNation of yesteryears. I noticed last week that the football team down in Miami hadn’t won a game yet. I can’t even imagine I’m still alive if I still followed professional football. Such a depressing environment. Most of you fanatics have never even made a tackle in a backyard game. Why are you so fucking hoorah rah rah about drinking beer and yelling at athletic millionaires? Why was I? I was fucking retarded, that’s why I did it. What’s your excuse?