Speaking of peepee tips being sold by PP— they made some headlines recently…
Quick shoutout to Ruth’s Chris for doing the right thing– I almost went there for dinner a couple of times.
Did you hear that? PP, which extorts baby peepees, received $80,000,000.00 (that’s way more than you make and way more than you receive but it comes out of your paycheck) in PPP COVID relief funds. Holy P. I hear I’ve got $600.00 coming to me soon!!!!!!!!– I wonder if I can use that to buy the rest of my penis back? I might need to scrounge around another $50, according to Ohpy Winn-Free. Do they track these things? I heard ancestry.com just re-sold for billions of dollars (who has billions to drop on DNA shit during a pandemic, you ask?)… anywho… so can they figure out whose face MY dick is on? Can I track that person down and have them buy me lunch? What’s the protocol?
Not too often you read about circumcision, am I right? Sir-come-sih-zhun. Sir come sit down I’m gonna sihjzhun off your manhood. That’s a long one.
Dannnnnnng girrrrrl what’cho secret is?! The secret is baby penis tips, evidently. Let’s keep kicking the can down the road, though, shall we? HOW ABOUT FUCKING NOT?! K.